Bahá'í Engagement Period : Looking for Updates from UHJ

All research or scholarship questions
Hashubah
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Jun 20, 2008 8:57 am

Bahá'í Engagement Period : Looking for Updates from UHJ

Postby Hashubah » Fri Jun 20, 2008 9:08 am

Hello! I mostly signed up because I'm searching all over for any updates to the engagement laws as they pertain to Bahá'í's living in the West. My boyfriend (a non-Bahá'í) and I are hoping to ask for my parents' consent soon (his parents have already given theirs, though they were amused we asked so seriously) but my dad is unsure about where the engagement laws now stand in the United States (specifically) since the Kitáb-i-Aqdas has been published since the UHJ letter from 1965 (pertaining to the application of the 95-day rule to Persians only).

I have read the document for NSAs on developing the community and all of the writings pertaining to engagement, marriage, and divorce that are included in the pdf document. Thanks for the great resource! It answered a lot of question my boyfriend and I had about the process. My dad is wavering on giving his permission only because of the 95-day rule. We intend to wed next summer and move to Boston then. We aren't capable of wedding earlier because of finances and school. However, we felt the process of setting up the wedding would be easier if we had a year to plan (due to a lot of family and friends living out-of-state and out-of-country). Many of my Bahá'í friends have had engagements longer than 95 days in recent years.

So, I guess my main question is has the Universal House of Justice applied the 95-day engagement rule to Western Bahá'í's yet? Secondly, does it affect my stance as a "Westerner" if my mother is Persian? I speak very little Farsi, and cannot read or write the language.

brettz9
Posts: 1366
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 12:12 pm
Contact:

Re: Bahá'í Engagement Period : Looking for Updates from UHJ

Postby brettz9 » Fri Jun 20, 2008 7:20 pm

It sounds like you already saw http://bahai-library.com/index.php5?fil ... ter=1#16.1 (starting at the bottom of the page), and there is also the guidance listed at http://bahai-library.com/index.php5?fil ... Engagement .

Per http://bahai-library.com/file.php5?file ... ot_binding as of 1974, the "laws governing betrothal" (see http://www.bahai-library.com/writings/b ... tml#IV.C.1 ) were not yet applicable. As of 1999, there was another letter which indicated that further consideration was given to universal applicability of laws and that (only) the devotional ones were changed: http://bahai-library.com/index.php5?fil ... tion_aqdas .

So, I guess my main question is has the Universal House of Justice applied the 95-day engagement rule to Western Bahá'í's yet?


Apparently not.

Secondly, does it affect my stance as a "Westerner" if my mother is Persian? I speak very little Farsi, and cannot read or write the language.


I believe the following passages from Developing Distinctive Baha'i Communities might be relevant to help you make a decision in light of your own conscience:

Concerning the question as to how the term "Persian believer" should be
defined in applying this law, you should be guided as follows. The law
applies to Persian believers wherever they have established residence
after leaving Iran. In cases where children born to such parents are
brought up in the Persian tradition, speak Persian, and are thoroughly
conversant with the laws of the Kitab-i-Aqdas, they will obviously feel
an obligation, and should be assisted, to observe this law as
circumstances permit.
Letter from the Universal House of Justice, dated January 6, 1987,
to a National Spiritual Assembly

The action you have taken so far in regard to enforcing laws that are
binding on the Persian believers living in the West, that is, leaving it
to the individual conscience to carry out these laws, with which they
are familiar, is correct.
Letter from the Universal House of Justice, dated April 11, 1982, to
a National Spiritual Assembly


There is also this about the wisdom (but not requirement for Western believers) of getting permission before announcing any extended engagement:

"The Laws of the Kitab-i-Aqdas regarding the period of engagement have not been made applicable to believers in the West, and therefore there is no requirement that the parties to a marriage obtain consent of the parents before announcing their engagement. However, there is no objection to informing the believers that it would be wise for them to do so in order to avoid later embarrassment if consents are withheld."

(From a letter of the Universal House of Justice to the National Spiritual Assembly of Australia, January 17, 1971: Australian Bahá'í Bulletin, February 1971, No. 198)


While I think from the above you can see it is fully your choice, one practical suggestion I might suggest, might be to have a small private wedding for family (at least family present in the country) and hold a larger celebration later. My wife and I did that. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't have wanted to wait much longer to be married and be with my wife.

best wishes,
Brett


Return to “Discussion”