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Abstract: Short, humorous play depicting the confusions that can result from trying to be too delicate in announcing one's commitment to the Bahá'í Faith. Notes: "Coming Out" was inspired by a remark by Gail Morong. |
Characters:
Four good friends, all in their early 20's.
A table in a coffee-bar. The 4 characters are sitting at the table.
Richard: [ Hesitantly]
You're probably ... wondering why ... I ... invited you here ...
Lindsey:
You want to start paying back all the coffee you owe me ...
Richard: [Sheepishly]
Well, that too ... I guess
Tasha: And ...?
Greg: [Mocking]
Let me guess - you're going to reveal the deepest, darkest, most horrible secret of your life ...
Richard: [Stunned]
Holy smokes! How did you know?
Greg: [Surprised]
I guessed it?
Lindsey: [Mocking, with appropriate hand-gestures]
OOOOO Greg, maybe you're psychic ... Mr. Greg sees all, tells all ...
Greg: [Leaning forward and staring at Lindsey; then in a foreign accent]
Look into my eyes - and I will read your mind like a book ...
Tasha: [Rolling her eyes; slightly annoyed]
O give it a rest would you ...
[Touching Richard's arm]
What's it about, Richard ...?
Richard: [Hangs his head]
Me.
[ There is a pause. Just enough to be noticeable, Richard's 3 friends glance at each other.]
Lindsey: [Exasperated]
I think ... we kind of knew that ...
Tasha: [Sympathetically]
And ...?
Richard: [Looking down]
Guys ... I ... I ... don't know how to say this but ...
Tasha: [Sympathetically]
O come on now, we're all friends ...
Lindsey: Just in case you haven't noticed ...
Richard: Well ... it's ... just not ... easy ...
Lindsey: [Impatient]
Come on Ricky-boy, spit it out ...
Greg: Yeah, we're all big, we can take it ...
Richard: [Worried, embarrassed]
I know ... it's just that ... I should have ... told you ... earlier - months ago ...
Greg: I forgive you.
Lindsey: Hold on there! He doesn't get off that easy. He's got to do penance. He can buy me more coffee ...
Tasha: Oh cut it, you guys, just let him talk ...
Lindsey: I wish he would ...
Tasha: [Turning to him]
Richard, you said you should have told us months ago -
Richard: Well, I really should have ... but I didn't ... and that makes it worse ...
Tasha: [Gently coaxing]
O don't worry about that. Just tell us now ... What's it about?
Richard: Me.
Lindsey: [Flops back in her chair, groaning in exasperation]
Greg: [Annoyed]
What's the big secret, man? Look at all the stuff we told each other before ... Can't be any bigger than some of that ...
Richard: No, no, it's much bigger than anything like that ...
Lindsey: [Now trampling her feet in frustration]
Tasha: You know we're your friends - even though Lindsey's being a bit of jerk right now. So, why don't you just tell us ... it'll be so much better ...
Richard: I want to ... but it's so ... so different ...
Lindsey: Yeah, we'll understand ... even a jerk like me.
Richard: I know, guys, I know, but it's just not that easy ...
Lindsey: [Suddenly sitting up and looking at Richard]
Tell me, Richard, this wouldn't be a ...a ... male bonding thing - would it?
Richard: [Thinks for a moment}
Yeah ... in a sort of way ...
[There is a moment of silence as the possible implications of this sink in.]
Tasha: [Immediately sympathetic]
But that's not a problem - at least not for us girls ...
[Looks at Lindsey]
Lindsey: Definitely not for me ...
Greg: Hey man, I'm open-minded.
Tasha: [A little forced; she has romantic designs on Richard]
Me too ... for sure ...
Lindsey: Whatever floats your boat ... it's fine with me. No big deal here.
Greg: Hey, you're my friend, no matter what. I respect your choice - and you respect mine -
that's what friends are about ... I may not understand it, but ...
Richard: [Breathing a big sigh of relief]
Oh man, I'm so glad you guys understand. I was so worried. Cause things will be a a bit different from here on in ...
Tasha: [Obviously disappointed]
Just a bit ...
[She turns away]
Lindsey: [Sees Tasha's disappointment and tries to cheer her up by sounding cheerful herself]
But it's not the end of the world. It's a start to a whole new world ... new adventures and all that stuff ...
Richard: Well, you know ... I won't be going to the bar any more ....
Greg: Are you crazy? Say man, when did all this happen?
Richard: A couple of weeks ago. When I finally got my card ...
Lindsey: [Incredulous]
You need a card for that?
Richard: [Enthusiastic]
Oh yeah ... to get registered and all that kind of stuff ...
Greg: [Suspicious]
What do you mean registered?
Richard: So they know who's part of it ... no big deal ... but it's got to be done ...
Lindsey: [Defiant]
I wouldn't go on some register... there's gotta be a law about that somewhere ... It's like communism or Nazis or something ...
Richard: [Defensive]
Well, they've got to ... administration and all that stuff ...
Greg: [Somewhat angry]
So they can pick you up any time they like ...?
Lindsey: And make you wear a pink triangle ...
Richard: Pink triangle? Are you kidding? These guys use nine-pointed stars ...
Tasha: [Puzzled]
I can't remember reading anything about nine-pointed stars in my history books ...
Greg: [Appalled]
So what do you need all this registration for ?
Richard: Well, once in a while for some of the special meetings ...
Greg: [Stunned]
Meetings?
Tasha: Support group meetings ...
Richard: Not really, it's not a support group ...
Lindsey: OK, get-togethers... call 'em whatever ... for others like you ...
Richard: Exactly. But don't worry, I want you all there! I'll invite you to some of our parties ...
Greg: [Mixed feelings]
You will?
Tasha: Well, I'll be happy to come with you ...
Richard: [Enthusiastic]
That's great! Maybe you'll all join some day ...
There is a shocked silence.]
Greg: [Hesitantly]
Richard, good buddy, I think I better say this up front - I'm not wired that way ...
Richard: [Enthusiastically]
Uh uh. You're so wrong about that! I think everyone's wired that way - they just don't know it yet ...
Greg: Oh, I know it all right, good buddy. And the answer is no. It's not for me.
Richard: But it's made me so happy! I want to share it with you!
Lindsey: Some things just aren't meant to be shared ...
Tasha: [Hesitantly]
I don't know about you guys, but I'm ... really confused ...
Lindsey: About what?
Tasha: Everything.
Greg: Like what?
Tasha: [To Richard}
Richard, you just told us you're gay - didn't you?
Richard: [Shocked]
Me?!? Are you kidding? Whatever made you think that?
[A long pause as they all glance at each other in confusion.]
Lindsey: [Matter of factly]
So you're not gay ...
Richard: [Protesting]
No, of course not ...
Tasha: [Touching his arm]
That makes things a lot simpler ...
Greg: Yeah, I'll say. Not that we'd care if you were ... a bud is a bud is a bud ...
Tasha: So what are you?
Richard: I'm a Bahá'í.
Greg: Same thing almost, isn't it? Except you like girls too ...
Richard: [Slightly annoyed]
Huh?
Greg: Well, if you're bi you like guys and girls, right? You swing both ways, sort of ... you know
what I mean ...
Richard: I said Bahá'í - not bi ...
Lindsey: [Worried]
If this one of those wierdo things, Richard, I hate to say it, but I'm outta here! I'm just a plain simple girl ... guys, and later on babies the old fashioned natural way ...
Tasha: [Despondent again; head in her hand]
Me too.
Richard: You guys are nuts! This has nothing to do with sex!
[He starts laughing.]
Tasha: [Perking up immediately; with increasing desperation]
Richard, I know you don't mean to, but you're jerking us around. So quit it! It's driving me crazy. I want you to come right out and say it - no beating around the bush ...
[Greg and Lindsey voice their support.]
Richard: [Hesitantly]
I sorry guys, but ... it's just not an easy thing to explain.
Tasha: [Sternly]
Well, I think you'd better start ...
Richard: [Taking a deep breath]
I've joined the Bahá'ís. They're a religion.
Lindsey: So when do they shave your head?
Tasha: [Impatient]
Lindsey, would you just listen - before we get all confused again ... I just couldn't stand any
more of that ...
Richard: No head shaving, Lindsey. It's simple as ABC. A: All religions and peoples are basically one so the world is really one country. B: Bahá'u'lláh is the manifestation of God for this age. C: Civilization won't progress until we're all working together.
Lindsey: [Slightly disappointed]
That's it? That's the great secret?
Richard: That's it.
Greg: So tell me, good buddy, why all the chicken poop? Why didn't you just come out and say so? That doesn't sound too bad.
Richard: [Hesitant]
Well ... you got to admit ...it's not easy these days - admitting you got religion ...
Lindsey: No kidding ... and maybe for a good reason ...
Greg: Will I burn in hell for not joining?
Richard: There isn't a hell to burn in.
Greg: No hell? Now there's a new twist ...
Lindsey: What do they use to scare you?
Richard: Nothing. Your conscience maybe ... it's up to you ...
Tasha: [With a large sigh of relief]
Guys, I've got to go ... this has been quite a ride ... and I'm just exhausted ...
[She gets up. The others also get up ...and they start leaving, still talking.]
Richard: [Laughing as they exit]
Thanks guys. For understanding. And the misunderstanding. Wait'll I tell them!
[He mimics two different voices.]
`I'm a Bahá'í.'
`Oh. I guess that means you like girls too ...'
[Their laughter fades out as they exit.]
Four good friends, all in their early 20's.
-
Richard: jeans, sweat-shirt, sneakers; an `ordinary guy'
- Greg: a mock tough guy exterior; but also an `ordinary guy'
- Lindsey: dressed rather punky; the clown of the group
- Tasha: the sensitive one; shows signs of being in love with Richard;
A table in a coffee-bar. The 4 characters are sitting at the table.
Richard: [ Hesitantly]
You're probably ... wondering why ... I ... invited you here ...
Lindsey:
You want to start paying back all the coffee you owe me ...
Richard: [Sheepishly]
Well, that too ... I guess
Tasha: And ...?
Greg: [Mocking]
Let me guess - you're going to reveal the deepest, darkest, most horrible secret of your life ...
Richard: [Stunned]
Holy smokes! How did you know?
Greg: [Surprised]
I guessed it?
Lindsey: [Mocking, with appropriate hand-gestures]
OOOOO Greg, maybe you're psychic ... Mr. Greg sees all, tells all ...
Greg: [Leaning forward and staring at Lindsey; then in a foreign accent]
Look into my eyes - and I will read your mind like a book ...
Tasha: [Rolling her eyes; slightly annoyed]
O give it a rest would you ...
[Touching Richard's arm]
What's it about, Richard ...?
Richard: [Hangs his head]
Me.
[ There is a pause. Just enough to be noticeable, Richard's 3 friends glance at each other.]
Lindsey: [Exasperated]
I think ... we kind of knew that ...
Tasha: [Sympathetically]
And ...?
Richard: [Looking down]
Guys ... I ... I ... don't know how to say this but ...
Tasha: [Sympathetically]
O come on now, we're all friends ...
Lindsey: Just in case you haven't noticed ...
Richard: Well ... it's ... just not ... easy ...
Lindsey: [Impatient]
Come on Ricky-boy, spit it out ...
Greg: Yeah, we're all big, we can take it ...
Richard: [Worried, embarrassed]
I know ... it's just that ... I should have ... told you ... earlier - months ago ...
Greg: I forgive you.
Lindsey: Hold on there! He doesn't get off that easy. He's got to do penance. He can buy me more coffee ...
Tasha: Oh cut it, you guys, just let him talk ...
Lindsey: I wish he would ...
Tasha: [Turning to him]
Richard, you said you should have told us months ago -
Richard: Well, I really should have ... but I didn't ... and that makes it worse ...
Tasha: [Gently coaxing]
O don't worry about that. Just tell us now ... What's it about?
Richard: Me.
Lindsey: [Flops back in her chair, groaning in exasperation]
Greg: [Annoyed]
What's the big secret, man? Look at all the stuff we told each other before ... Can't be any bigger than some of that ...
Richard: No, no, it's much bigger than anything like that ...
Lindsey: [Now trampling her feet in frustration]
Tasha: You know we're your friends - even though Lindsey's being a bit of jerk right now. So, why don't you just tell us ... it'll be so much better ...
Richard: I want to ... but it's so ... so different ...
Lindsey: Yeah, we'll understand ... even a jerk like me.
Richard: I know, guys, I know, but it's just not that easy ...
Lindsey: [Suddenly sitting up and looking at Richard]
Tell me, Richard, this wouldn't be a ...a ... male bonding thing - would it?
Richard: [Thinks for a moment}
Yeah ... in a sort of way ...
[There is a moment of silence as the possible implications of this sink in.]
Tasha: [Immediately sympathetic]
But that's not a problem - at least not for us girls ...
[Looks at Lindsey]
Lindsey: Definitely not for me ...
Greg: Hey man, I'm open-minded.
Tasha: [A little forced; she has romantic designs on Richard]
Me too ... for sure ...
Lindsey: Whatever floats your boat ... it's fine with me. No big deal here.
Greg: Hey, you're my friend, no matter what. I respect your choice - and you respect mine -
that's what friends are about ... I may not understand it, but ...
Richard: [Breathing a big sigh of relief]
Oh man, I'm so glad you guys understand. I was so worried. Cause things will be a a bit different from here on in ...
Tasha: [Obviously disappointed]
Just a bit ...
[She turns away]
Lindsey: [Sees Tasha's disappointment and tries to cheer her up by sounding cheerful herself]
But it's not the end of the world. It's a start to a whole new world ... new adventures and all that stuff ...
Richard: Well, you know ... I won't be going to the bar any more ....
Greg: Are you crazy? Say man, when did all this happen?
Richard: A couple of weeks ago. When I finally got my card ...
Lindsey: [Incredulous]
You need a card for that?
Richard: [Enthusiastic]
Oh yeah ... to get registered and all that kind of stuff ...
Greg: [Suspicious]
What do you mean registered?
Richard: So they know who's part of it ... no big deal ... but it's got to be done ...
Lindsey: [Defiant]
I wouldn't go on some register... there's gotta be a law about that somewhere ... It's like communism or Nazis or something ...
Richard: [Defensive]
Well, they've got to ... administration and all that stuff ...
Greg: [Somewhat angry]
So they can pick you up any time they like ...?
Lindsey: And make you wear a pink triangle ...
Richard: Pink triangle? Are you kidding? These guys use nine-pointed stars ...
Tasha: [Puzzled]
I can't remember reading anything about nine-pointed stars in my history books ...
Greg: [Appalled]
So what do you need all this registration for ?
Richard: Well, once in a while for some of the special meetings ...
Greg: [Stunned]
Meetings?
Tasha: Support group meetings ...
Richard: Not really, it's not a support group ...
Lindsey: OK, get-togethers... call 'em whatever ... for others like you ...
Richard: Exactly. But don't worry, I want you all there! I'll invite you to some of our parties ...
Greg: [Mixed feelings]
You will?
Tasha: Well, I'll be happy to come with you ...
Richard: [Enthusiastic]
That's great! Maybe you'll all join some day ...
There is a shocked silence.]
Greg: [Hesitantly]
Richard, good buddy, I think I better say this up front - I'm not wired that way ...
Richard: [Enthusiastically]
Uh uh. You're so wrong about that! I think everyone's wired that way - they just don't know it yet ...
Greg: Oh, I know it all right, good buddy. And the answer is no. It's not for me.
Richard: But it's made me so happy! I want to share it with you!
Lindsey: Some things just aren't meant to be shared ...
Tasha: [Hesitantly]
I don't know about you guys, but I'm ... really confused ...
Lindsey: About what?
Tasha: Everything.
Greg: Like what?
Tasha: [To Richard}
Richard, you just told us you're gay - didn't you?
Richard: [Shocked]
Me?!? Are you kidding? Whatever made you think that?
[A long pause as they all glance at each other in confusion.]
Lindsey: [Matter of factly]
So you're not gay ...
Richard: [Protesting]
No, of course not ...
Tasha: [Touching his arm]
That makes things a lot simpler ...
Greg: Yeah, I'll say. Not that we'd care if you were ... a bud is a bud is a bud ...
Tasha: So what are you?
Richard: I'm a Bahá'í.
Greg: Same thing almost, isn't it? Except you like girls too ...
Richard: [Slightly annoyed]
Huh?
Greg: Well, if you're bi you like guys and girls, right? You swing both ways, sort of ... you know
what I mean ...
Richard: I said Bahá'í - not bi ...
Lindsey: [Worried]
If this one of those wierdo things, Richard, I hate to say it, but I'm outta here! I'm just a plain simple girl ... guys, and later on babies the old fashioned natural way ...
Tasha: [Despondent again; head in her hand]
Me too.
Richard: You guys are nuts! This has nothing to do with sex!
[He starts laughing.]
Tasha: [Perking up immediately; with increasing desperation]
Richard, I know you don't mean to, but you're jerking us around. So quit it! It's driving me crazy. I want you to come right out and say it - no beating around the bush ...
[Greg and Lindsey voice their support.]
Richard: [Hesitantly]
I sorry guys, but ... it's just not an easy thing to explain.
Tasha: [Sternly]
Well, I think you'd better start ...
Richard: [Taking a deep breath]
I've joined the Bahá'ís. They're a religion.
Lindsey: So when do they shave your head?
Tasha: [Impatient]
Lindsey, would you just listen - before we get all confused again ... I just couldn't stand any
more of that ...
Richard: No head shaving, Lindsey. It's simple as ABC. A: All religions and peoples are basically one so the world is really one country. B: Bahá'u'lláh is the manifestation of God for this age. C: Civilization won't progress until we're all working together.
Lindsey: [Slightly disappointed]
That's it? That's the great secret?
Richard: That's it.
Greg: So tell me, good buddy, why all the chicken poop? Why didn't you just come out and say so? That doesn't sound too bad.
Richard: [Hesitant]
Well ... you got to admit ...it's not easy these days - admitting you got religion ...
Lindsey: No kidding ... and maybe for a good reason ...
Greg: Will I burn in hell for not joining?
Richard: There isn't a hell to burn in.
Greg: No hell? Now there's a new twist ...
Lindsey: What do they use to scare you?
Richard: Nothing. Your conscience maybe ... it's up to you ...
Tasha: [With a large sigh of relief]
Guys, I've got to go ... this has been quite a ride ... and I'm just exhausted ...
[She gets up. The others also get up ...and they start leaving, still talking.]
Richard: [Laughing as they exit]
Thanks guys. For understanding. And the misunderstanding. Wait'll I tell them!
[He mimics two different voices.]
`I'm a Bahá'í.'
`Oh. I guess that means you like girls too ...'
[Their laughter fades out as they exit.]
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